Sunday, 26 January 2014

Carpark tears

The huggable has just completed her first full week at her new nursery, originally she was ment to go to another one but after our settling in session there i quickly changed my mind, lets just say it was the wrong fit for my girl. After this we decided as the birth of our littlest girl was getting nearer and we didnt want Hope to be in and out of nursery over christmas we waited to try another. Im so glad we did as the one she attends now seems a good fit she even asks to go on the days she isnt there!
After our initial look round she had her first settling in the following wednesday, mama was hesitent but Hope soon went off playing and even told me to go in the mummys room for a cup of tea! The next session I was able to come home for an hour. Nursery was much looked forward to over the weekend and when monday rolled around breakfast was gobbled down and her new sneakers and tracksuit donned, her little backpack was filled with her juice and wellies and off we set. Hope seems to be just fine but behind the smiles my tummy was turning. You see ive never left my daughter before. Apart from with my parents she has always been my partner in crime my lil side kick who shares my adventures. Its never been a chore for me to have my kids with me all the time. Dont get me wrong i relish the half hour to myself for a bath but i love sharing time with the girls, they make the mundane into a magical adventure. However its become apparent in the last six month that Hope is more than ready to spend time with her peers in preparation for school and so after waving goodbye and tearing myself away i come to find myself stood in the carpark searching my pockets for a tissue and having a little cry. If  I'm honest i feel a little cheated, where were the tears and the hugs? That beautiful little creature that i made and have nurtured for the past almost three years smiled at me kissed my cheek wrapped her arms round my neck and said love you, mummys always come back and off she went without a backwards glance. Part of me was so proud of this confident contented little human so sure that her mummy was coming back and it definatly made it much easier to leave her but the other part felt like i was no longer as needed and i caught a little glimpse into the future when my girl wouldnt need me as much. Like a lot of things with kiddos it was bittersweet. So i squared my shoulders blew my nose and went home to my other little lady and come pick up time you bet i was there half an hour early egar to get in and feel her sweet breath on my face as she ran into my arms and kissed my face squealing mama came back. This girl of mine is so excited everyday to get to playschool but equally excited to see her mama and tell me all about her morning at play. So the days have been a little easier and we have fell into our new routine but as she trots infront of me bursting to get to nursery in the morning i take a deep breath and remind myself that its only nursery not university and while i have her i will cherish every moment for before i know it off she will be full of confidence that her mama will always come back no matter how big she gets.

All ready for nursery.

come on mummy lets go!

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