I had left you at the point of my decision being made previously and thought it about time i told you the tale of my littlest little girls birth sunroof style-y!
Thursday evening and the huggable one safely at her marmar and daddads left me and the hubster alone and looking forward to the morning. I missed my girl so much that night it was strange knowing that i wouldnt be kissing her goodnight as an only child anymore and that come the next night my heart full up with mothers love could possibly have room for another?! Strangley i wasnt nervous i was more annoyed at the thought of starting the day without a cup of tea. We ordered chinese food though i didnt eat to much as i was so scared of being sick while on the table i wanted whatever i ate to be as light as possible and then the other half made me sit though a show about kennedy being assasinated....Boring! Actually i found it very interesting but dont tell him that. We went to bed and while i was worried i wouldnt sleep my head hit the pillow and i was out like a light till my alarm woke me in the morning. Funnily enough it was the best nights sleep id had in weeks. I did my hair got myself ready and off we set such a werid feeling to know that in a few hours m baby would be here. Once checked in at hospital we were spoken to about what would happen and all that form signing and note taking etc and told i was third on the list and it shouldnt be too long but try not to clock watch. For me this was the worst bit, i hadnt been nervous or scared at all and was fine when being spoken to and having things to do but sat around waiting just made me sit n get nervous. My mum called to say she would see us all soon and Hope was excited that soon she would be a big sister and that not only was baby owl coming out but bringing her a gift! I will admit that her telling meshe loved me and me trying to say it back through a lump in my throat got to me a bit but i was far to overwhelmed with the thought of holding my newbrn to be nervous or upset for long. Finally they came for us and the walk to theatre was like a benny hill sketch! Well nobody told me to take my underwear off to walk down so half way i had to take off my knickers and put them in bens pocket!Then while i was being given my spinal they noticed i had my bra on and i was told to remove this. Classy bird me! It didnt help that i had chosen to wear a leopard print beauty that when put on the table the anesthetist remarked oh we got kat slater in ha ha to which the nurse who had walked me down giggled and we all had a laugh about my underwear being in my husbands pockets. The staff were amazing the room was filled with good humour banter and laughter aswell as it being so calm and relaxed. At one point i suddenly felt really sick and the angel of an anestetist spoke to me so kindly gave me anti sickness and got a nurse to apply a cold cloth to my forehead i instantly felt better. As Ben was brought in we were all betting on boy/girl and i knew within minutes we would know for sure. Ben seemed more nervous than me and i told him keep talking and dont look. He had rung my mum to let her know not long now and so told me about what Hope had been upto. Honestly i promise you i felt nothing, nada, zippo ziltch the only way i could discribe it was like when your arm falls asleep and you touch it its kinda fuzzy but not painful or unpleasent. Within minutes we heard a little cry and a tiny baby wrapped in a blanket was shown to us. All i could focus on was the amount of hair this kid had!! Anurse had to say do you see what you have? before i thought to look and see we had a lovely baby sister for our biggest little girl. She was put near my face to kiss her then Ben held her while i just drunk her in. I had been sure i would have a boy so we couldnt give a name right away but then a midwife or nurse noticed that she was grunting while crying and the listened to her chest before asking was it ok to take heer to the resusitar to check her. While they looked her over they were so calm the room was still a nice environment to be in and i was relaxed being sewn up. We were told they just wanted a peadiatrician to take a look but told dont worry shes ok by this point my screenhad been dropped and i could see her over the other side of the room. Ben went from the room as the moved me onto a bed and then i was taken to recovery with promises my girl would soon follow. I was settled and reasurred by all these lovey people and then they wheeled my girl in all wrapped up in an incubator. We were told she had to be taken to neonatal care but that we shouldnt worry to much. I just wanted to hold my baby i still hadnt had my first cuddle yet. Off she was wheeled and i called my mum, i was strangly calm as i explained about neonatal and everyone was so excited over our newest girl. As i lay there thinking how in crontrol i had been and how lvely this birth had been and yet i still hadnt gotten to hold my baby right from birth it was like all the air got sucked out of the room and i sobbed. What had i done, why hadnt this even entered my head that it could happen. The nurses and midwives conforted me and thought i regained my composure my head swam. My baby was in neonatal and i wasnt with her.