I admit it i was starting to feel kinda lonely. I think most mamas do when they are home with the kids. Dont get me wrong its not boring and I dont feel isolated really but when you have kiddos suddenly you seem to sort the wheat from the chaf in friendship circles and lets face it park trips are so much more fun when you have company. When I had my first bambino i suddenly found myself with let texts or invites from friends who previously were in constant contact with. It was like I had developed a rather nasty contagious disease rather than blooming with pregnancy (ok i never really did the whole blooming thing but still.). The general feeling I got was that iwas now considered boring or old! I found myself wanting to cry and tell people "hey its still me, I'm still fun still the same giggly fun loving happy person as before just with a little sidekick!" honestly it really did upset me but then the huggable was born. My days filled with love and mini smiles and I had so much fun with my little sidekick along for the ride. I traded in whiskey fuelled nights for waterbabie classes and realised that if those people who kinda drifted away probably didnt really mean to hurt me but they just didnt understand and the ones who were nasty well they were never really friends anyway. The people I chose to allow to share our lives are special they stuck around are true friends and the ones who mean the most. They are the first ones on invite lists the ones that find my crazy daughters randomness as hilarious as me and the ones i shared the news of my second pregnancy with. But they still have work commitments etc and so although they always reply to text I find myself kind of lonely. I want to share the park bench with someone to be able to text someone at three in the morning when your babies awake knowing that they will be up too and not because they're steaming drunk. (i appriciate drunken text too).
Then little lady G came along and the baby groups started for me again. This time i promised myself I wouldnt let other mums judge me (theres always one)and would make a true effort to engage with other mummies. So I did. I spoke to lots of mums and babies I try really hard not to miss weeks even when its raining. I try really hard to be that mummy offering a smile when i catch the eye of a mum who looks nervous or unsure and suddenly I have mummy friends. All of a sudden there has formed a little group of us swapping numbers and meeting lots for coffee and cake, branching out to other groups or classes with each other as support. Offering advice and keeping each other laughing. Some of them even came to the christening this sunday. We are fast becoming a firm little group of buddies and thats so nice. I didnt really notice when it was just me and huggable but with friends along for the trip it can be more fun.
So for any nervous shy mamas out there my advice would be this try, try really hard to speak to just one different mum at a group or park, put a smile on your face and though its really hard to remove your eyes from those beautiful babies faces make eye contact. Trust me it works before you know it you will be sat in your local coffee shop with cake, coffee and company.