Tuesday, 20 May 2014

So are you a hippy?

Recently as i wandered the aisles of my local supermarket with Lady G snug to my chest in our sakura bloom sling and the Huggable one holding my hand tight a lady approached me to look at the girls. This happens daily and I fequently find myself talking to strangers about my lovely littles. This lady looked a little concerned as Greta smiled from her sling and asked "dont you have a pram?" i told her actually we have four at the moment but that I like my baby in the sling and I find it easier with the toddler, still looking some what confused she says "well I bet this one (meaning Huggable) doesnt leave you alone" I replied that shes such a good girl and a great big sister and very snuggly mentioning that we co-sleep the woman then looks at me like this is the most ridiculous thing shes ever heard and says "oh so are you like a hippy?!
I kid you not thats what I was asked! Am I a hippy?!
I replied that I just love my kids incredibly and if that makes me a hippy then I guess so. She was'nt really rude or anything more confused and we smiled while we chatted but I came away laughing to myself and thinking when did doing what comes naturally as a parent get you labelled?
I suppose for people of a certain age the ways I parent would seem "hippy" but I think thats down to when they first began being researched and practiced in the 70s not necessarily for any other reason than when they were parents themselves this wasnt considered mainstream and that it was for free loving hippies!
I take no offence at any of this, i will happily explain the whys and what fores with any one who asks and have a discussion with anybody. What I do take offence at however are the rude think they know betters, the ones who tell me I'm ruining my children that I'm hurting my baby by wearing her in a sling and not one of those nice "proper" carriers, the ones who say its a rod for my back or my children wont know how to be independent or will be soft. To those people i want to say shove your opinion for thats all it is, an opinion and its yours. Your entitled to it of course but please dont be offended if I tell you it means very little to me and has no impact on my life. Thank you for sharing but please keep it to yourself. I find with being a parent you get judged for anything little things like putting a blue hat on your baby girl or using a dummy. I try really hard to not judge anybody especially other parents. Sometimes thats hard when you see something you really dont agree with but it isnt my place to pass comment. When you parent in a way that goes against all the leaflets and guidence your given when pregnant you open yourself up for ridicule but the best way Ive found is to smile and let it wash over you unless its something extremely rude. For the most part people arent commenting to be nasty its just lack of knowledge.
My choices of parenting werent ones that i made before my girls were born I had read about attachment parenting and yes I will admit it at the time it all seemed very strict rules and dancing naked to the moon but once my girls came along I did what came naturally to me. My eldest co-sleeps and we all get a good nights sleep and are happy and content, as yet the baby doesnt as I dont feel its safe with Hope in the bed not being aware of the baby but if she wants to get in as shes older then so be it. I wear my baby as i did with Hope not because i dislike prams (heck i have pram cupboard to rival carries shoe room) but because its comfy and comforting, its much more practical in some situations and the theroies behind it just resonate with me. I love having them so close and my kiddos are such content little creatures because of how we are with them. I think attatchment parenting and other practices are like religion and you should cherry pick bits from it that either ring true with you or work for you. I dont breast feed I never have and nor will i go the extremes of getting rid of my prams or pre-chewing food for the girls so no I'm not a hard core attachment parent I have and will try cloth nappies and will continue to co-sleep and baby wear as long as it works for us and when it no longer does then we will go with the flow.

Am I strict attachment parent? No but i am extremely attached to my kiddos.


Yep she looks so uncomfy right?


No up and down nights for us


Putting our best babywearing foot forward



2 comments:

  1. I hate the way there are labels put on to how you choose to parent. I had no idea before having kids that there were so many different ways to do things or that people got so judgemental to each other. I don't think I've ever fallen into any category. I co-slept and carried Tiger in a sling for a year but I also sleep trained them. I give them mainly organic, healthy food but I've also been known to bribe Cherry with kinder eggs! I think you have to just do what you feels right and what works for you. But I always used to get comments in the supermarket too when I had Tiger in the ergo, not nasty, just intrigued I suppose. Guess it's good we get a chance to speak up for our parenting choices! x

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    1. yes it is really and when I think about I suppose it just opens up the paths of speech and choice a bit. Someone asked me recently Will you talk to me about being an attchment parent? she ment it in a lovely way as she thinks my girls seem so happy {isnt that so so lovely when another parent thinks your doing a fab job} so i had a chat with her about why I do what I do etc but that its not for everyone but i also mentioned that I wouldnt label myself as an attachment parent im just a parent doing what i think works. she agreed that labels are horrid too. How did you go from co-sleeping to sleep training? Hope is spending more time in her bed now before coming in with us as I think it will be better for her when she styarts school but she really hates the whole lets have a nice bedtime routine thing.

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